Single & Living My Best Life: An Interview With Christa Nutor

As Valentine’s Day weekend comes to an end, we are excited to share our first interview of the February love series with the beautiful Christa Nutor. At age 24, Christa has learned to live life to the fullest while balancing a job in corporate America, maintaining a growing social media presence with her blog, and traveling – all while keeping her faith strong. She currently resides in Portland Oregon but is from Columbus, Ohio with native roots in Ghana. With this being the month of love we wanted Christa to share her faith journey with us as someone who is currently not in a relationship or dating but is indeed living her best life and going after her wildest dreams. This is what she had to say:

Journey of faith

My faith journey as a single is reflective of my faith journey through life. We hear all the time that God is love and my journey has been striving to look more like him every day. While I’m single, I’ve been striving to become more and more like love and to embody that. I take it on as a challenge every-day to receive and give love to those around me more. At the end of the day I want to be known as a person who both lived and loved life well. If that’s the only impact I have in the world that’s fine. 1 Corinthians 13 is a famous passage we hear a lot at people’s weddings. But even as a single we should hold on to that too because It’s not only for married people. I think we should all have that willingness to be more patient, more kind, less jealous, less proud, less self- seeking, (that’s a big one as a single person) more honoring to ourselves and those around us and basically the entire list in the passage. That’s what I strive to do in my faith journey.

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What do you think is the most challenging thing you face being single at 24?

Growing up in church culture its very much a thing to elevate marriage and dating on a pedestal. And although it’s probably very well meaning it can be kind of toxic. As a single person growing up in the church that is something I’ve had to do a lot of heart work on and talk to people with a different mindset.

Marriage is always something I’ve wanted but I also know for me there’s a lot more I need to do before I get there , and when its right it will be right. If I seek out God and lean into my purpose that is me fulfilling his will and the person for me will be doing the same thing. Eventually, our paths will cross. Does it mean it will be easy? No. especially being in my mid 20s a lot of my friends are married, engaged, and having babies which is crazy because I’m actually very young (laughs) and I don’t understand what’s happening but it’s happening (laughs) and so yeah-  its grounding myself and understanding that everyone has their own journey. Celebrating that for them and knowing my journey is what’s right for me. That’s what I hold onto and it makes it easier.

Your story doesn’t end or begin with a relationship. People think the happily ever after is the end of the book. But I don’t think that’s how it works. Let’s remember, Jesus walked this earth as a single person and some of the greatest people in the Bible did too.

That’s so good. Anything else you want to add about why we put so much value in relationships and dating? I think you raise some good points.

I think it can be easy to find our identity in someone else. We search for it in other humans when humans fail us daily. Like, we are so imperfect. I’d much rather put my identity in God who hasn’t failed me or will never fail me. We all have our individual purposes and God has called each of us to individual things. This makes me think of the “The Wait” by Meagan Good and Devon Franklin. They mention in the book something about being purpose partners. They both have purposes and together they partner and build each other up. I think in a relationship we’re supposed to both have purposes, come together, and it becomes something bigger because God is at the center vs  trying to find our purpose or identity in each other.

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What advice do you have for someone struggling to find their identity?

Depends on the stage of life they are in. If someone’s in a dating relationship and they seem to find themselves in that situation, maybe that means take a step back or going on a retreat with people who know you well. For me that would be my sister and close college friends – people who can call me back to who I am because they know me well. Something like that would be a good “come to Jesus” moment lol.

I like the practicality of that. A lot of times as Christians we say you have to find your identity in Christ but how do we do that? Its always good to have some practical steps to find your way back to God.

Exactly. We should go to the word first but also recognize God puts people in our lives for reasons. Community is how Jesus did life on earth and that’s how we are meant to do life on earth too.

Yes! I love it. My next question is about productivity. What have you been able to accomplish as someone who isn’t dating or married? Can you talk about the importance of making this season of your life the most meaningful?

I think I’ve been able to accomplish and gain a massive amount of self-awareness. The more time I spend with me the more I’m able to grow and understand who it is I want to be. Same with community- the more I spend time with others I learn how much I need them in my own journey. Now, don’t get me wrong. I very much look forward to being in a relationship, but I am enjoying the season that I am in.

I am a natural busy body which you probably can tell. I need to always be doing something. Climbing the corporate ladder is what I love to do. I love to write and share my heart via social media.  Whether I’m single or not, those are the things I plan to accomplish. I don’t think my productivity is tied to my singleness.

Wow. That’s a good point.

It goes back to that purpose partner thing. When I’m no longer single I will still be doing what I’m doing now but with someone by my side who will support me. I’m very much aware that things do change but my heart and how I operate shouldn’t.

Yeah, if I felt like I had to give up my passions just because I’m in a relationship I would need to reevaluate that. Our partners should complete us, not make us give up the very thing we are created to do. But I know some people struggle with this, so what are some practical steps or things you would share with someone who feels challenged with being productive while they are single?

If someone desires a relationship, we used to put them in a category of “waiting” which is that whole idea of putting marriage on a pedestal. But if we’re going to use that lingo we need to know that “waiting” is not a passive thing. It’s not just chillin’. If we’re going to think of ourselves as waiting we need to think about waiting tables, as serving actively with purpose in mind. That’s how I try to think about it because I’m not the type of girl whose just going to sit and wait around because I think something else is coming.

Right! I saw you went to Coachella last year, attended networking events, and tons of socials.

Yes! That’s what I’ve been doing and how I’ve chosen to live my life right now and I absolutely love it. Like I said, I’m passionate about traveling, the business world, and that’s everything I’ve been able to do over the past few years like going to Coachella and blogging. I’m just striving to be the best version of myself and live life to the fullest.

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That’s so good, we hear that a lot but I think what you just described is what it means to live your life to the fullest. Its doing things you love and things that bring you joy.

Exactly, that’s what it means, and I think everyone just finds it for themselves, but it is living your life in a way that brings you joy and makes you feel that everyday gets better.

Okay I have just two more questions. Can you tell us a little bit about your blog TheCurvyChristian.org and what inspired the name?

So, I started my blog about 3 years ago, right after I had graduated from college. For me, I get ideas and if it doesn’t go away I know its something I’m supposed to do. I used to use Facebook and would write these long rants and I noticed how it made me feel to put things into writing, It made things a lot more clear but it also seemed to be resonating with a lot of people. The things I was finding was how the world was not seeing the need for the church but also the church not opening its eyes to see what the world had to offer. And I felt I was in a place to be a bridge between the two. So after I graduated that’s how The Curvy Christian began.

Life’s curvy is pretty much what I say and I’m curvy too so lets figure it out together. From there its evolved and right now I’ve been focusing more on social media- specifically Instagram. I’ve been writing long forms, sharing my views on life and how others can live their life to the fullest as well. Im working on a few new things and I’m just excited for whats to come.

That’s awesome. I can’t wait to see what’s next cause I love everything you have to say and your Instagram is definitely poppin’! 

Before we wrap up this interview, can you tell us what is on Christa’s reading list and what books would you recommend to anyone single, dating, or just trying to better themselves?

Currently, I’m reading “Becoming” by Michelle Obama – a great inspirational book for successful women no matter the stage of life your in. I would recommend “Today I Affirm” by Alex Elle – a self-care workbook. (You should also check her out on IG) and “The Road Back to You” by Suzanne Stabile and Ian Chron – a great start for the enneagram personality test that I highly recommend everyone take. 

End of Interview.

You can follow Christa on Instagram @TheCurvyChrista and visit her blog at TheCurvyChristian.org.

Written by Ja’La Wourman. IG, Twitter @jalajwourman.

 

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Introducing the February Love Series

Love is in the air and this month RG4C is happy to kick off the second installment of our Love Series. We started this series back in February 2018 featuring 3 married couples from all walks of life. The couples shared personal experiences and perspectives with our readers on their journey of faith, love, and personal growth. In the weeks to come, we are excited to share with you all two new interviews we conducted with a newly married couple as well as a single business woman by day and entrepreneur by night; all millennials, might I add.

But why a Love Series?

To be honest, many of the stories we are bombarded with on the daily glorify relationships and love, but we typically don’t hear from couples or individuals who keep God at the center of it all. As I look back on my own journey in dating relationships, it wasn’t until I spent a season of about five years getting to know myself better and growing spiritually that I was ready to consider dating when the time presented itself. And even then, it was no longer a priority in my life so the moment God sent someone my way, I was caught way off guard! But isn’t that how it should be?

There is a quote I love by Maya Angelou that says, “A woman’s heart must be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him to find her.” What I love about this quote is 1) its true! and 2) its biblical! The Bible says in Proverbs 18:22 “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord.” Now, a lot of people may say “well, I don’t need to be found” and yes, that may be true if we think about being “found” in a passive sense. In this instance, however, we are regarding the establishment of relationships- romantic or otherwise- as a process of two people finding each other. The point here, then, is that keeping God central to our lives will allow us to find and be found by those that are meant for us. When we take our eyes off Him, we give people and even things our emotions, energy, and complete focus. And if we are not careful, our desires can soon turn into idols in our life.

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Through my own experiences and learning from shortcomings, I’ve come to recognize that God reveals things to us in his perfect time, when our eyes are focused on Him. Especially when it comes to relationships. And the same thing will be revealed to your significant other as you both focus on cultivating yourself and growing into the person you were created to be. But what does that look like in action?

Stay tuned for our articles on February 15 and 22 that will address this question and more as we hear from different people who have walked this journey and are living proof that God does His best work when we remain close to Him.

Blessings,

Ja’La Wourman

RG4C Founder / Editor in Chief

Love Series: Feat. Jill Govan

As we continue on with week two of our ‘Love Series’ we are so excited to share with you all our interview with the beautiful Jill Govan. Jill is a singer, songwriter, musician, and recently became a wife to her now-husband, Justin Govan. When we reached out to her, she was more than willing to share with us her journey from being single to now married. As a newlywed, she has many gems to share with you all but keeps it real that she too is still learning (as we all are!).

Continue reading “Love Series: Feat. Jill Govan”

Love Series: Feat. Jackie Wourman

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This month at RG4C, we are so excited to kick off our February Love Series with three beautiful couples who are sharing lessons with us from single life to marriage. To kick off our series, we are delighted to have the beautiful Jackie Wourman, who just so happens to be our founder’s mom! Jackie is humbled to share with you all her love story in hopes of inspiring and encouraging other young women.
We spoke to Jackie a week ago and this is what she had to say:

RG4C: Thank you so much for agreeing to speak with us! We just have a few questions for you today and won’t take too much of your time.To start off, How long have you and your husband Carlton been married?

Jackie:  28 years and 2 months

RG4C: How did you and your spouse meet?

Jackie: We met during our first year of college on the 2nd day. It was outside the student center at Suomi College in Hancock MI

RG4C: Tell us about your first date. When and where did it happen? Who made the first move?

Jackie: We were in college so we kind of didn’t really have a first date because we were always hanging out in groups, living the college life. I introduced him to a lot of my friends from high-school that attended the same college. Even when we would go back home to Detroit for break, we were always in a group because that’s what we were taught.

RG4C: How did you know this was the person you wanted to marry?

Jackie: From the time we got together we just clicked . When we started dating ,we never really broke up, and when we would break up we got back together very soon.

RG4C: How did your single life prepare you for marriage?

Jackie: I’ve always been organized, self sufficient, and goal oriented. I just felt 15781233_10211367517331220_3076156969539114875_ncomfortable living my life independently from a young age. I think that was important in preparing me for marriage because in the event that I got married, it wasn’t to be taken care of. I got married because I was in love but at the same time I knew the person I was marrying could take care of me if I needed them to. Carlton wanted to be married and wanted to be a family man. I knew that we were equally yoked and wanted the same things. That’s how I knew I was ready.
RG4C: Is there any advice you have for singles desiring a relationship or marriage?

Jackie: Just wait. And if its meant to be, it will happen. Enjoy life right now as it is , and if /when that person comes along that’s meant to be your husband, wait for that moment to come – don’t force it. What God has for you, is for you.

RG4C: For soon to be married couples or newlyweds, what’s some advice you would give them?

Jackie: Continue to let the Lord be over your relationship no matter the situation. Always try to stay steadfast, keeping God first. Take everything to God in prayer, thanking Him and praying to Him in the good and challenging times.

RG4C: What’s one challenge you have faced in marriage or while you IMG_7431were dating that has ultimately helped you grow into a better person?

Jackie: There’s been a lot  of lessons  I’ve learned because me and Carlton grew up together as teenagers. In my younger days, I allowed outside interferences and childish behaviours manipulate my marriage which is something I had to overcome early on in my adult years. If I would have given into immature gossip we wouldn’t be where we are today. Because of my maturity, my marriage has continued to grow and I’ve grown as well.

RG4C: What role has Jesus Christ played in your relationship?

Jackie: The more I stay closer to Christ, I don’t allow emotions to take precedence over my life decisions or over my household. I look to Christ for the answer. I thank Him daily and ask Him for covering over my family, over my household, and over my children’s home. 

RG4C: Some people think when you get married you “lose your individuality”. What’s your take on this? How can women balance personal interests and hobbies when sharing a life with someone else?

Jackie:  I’ve sacrificed over the years (like buying my dream sports car), but it didn’t feel like a sacrifice because I wanted to put my family first always. I wanted to make sure I didn’t miss my kids sporting games or events, so things were centered around my family throughout my marriage. I still do things for myself, like buying my favorite purse or favorite shoes because that’s just something I’ve always enjoyed doing since I was a young girl. I’ve always had my girlfriends and made sure to find a way to get the ladies together.  It could be something as simple as reading books  together or having dinner. This has been important to me and is how I balance my personal life alongside being married.

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My family, Christmas 2016

— RG4C Interview by Ja’La W