We are delighted to share with you all our last and final interview for the love series. To close out our series, we have with us today the beautiful Kelechi Akinbosede. Kelechi is an immigration and business lawyer, public servant, wife, and one of the kindest people we know! We’ll let her share more about herself below ,as she discusses with us her journey from singlehood to marriage.
RG4C: Hi Kelechi! Thank you so much for taking the time to talk with us. To start off, could you tell us how you and your husband Olukunle met?
Kelechi: We met through the Singles Ministry at the Church we both attend.
RG4C: And how long have the two of you been married?
Kelechi: Since December 17, 2016- 1yr, 9 weeks
RG4C: Wow, that’s awesome. So, tell us about your first date. When and where did it happen? Who made the first move?:
Kelechi: Our first date was a dinner date at Mitchell’s Fish Market and Tim Horton’s on December 30th, 2011. He made the first move. I remember him calling me that night after he dropped me off. And I could hear the anxiety in his voice as he poured out his hear to me expressing his interest in taking our friendship a step further and seeing how it goes.
RG4C: How did you know this was the person you wanted to marry?
Kelechi: He came into my life at a time that I was recovering from the hurt in my past relationship. I was not looking to get into another relationship and I shared that with him up front. I was also going through an licensing examination process that needed my focus. He understood and didn’t push it. Instead, he was there to support me through it all. I was and still am attracted to his generous, caring nature, his ability to lead and wonderful sense of humor.
RG4C: That’s so beautiful. Switching gears a little, how did your single life prepare you for married life?
Kelechi: As an unmarried woman, I learned to prioritize my relationship with God before any man and anyone. I also surrounded myself with married women and couples who challenged me to start thinking about marriage ahead of time. I listened to their advice on how to have a successful marriage. What really helped me is that in the early stages of dating, my husband and I got involved in relationship counseling. It was there we discovered a lot about each other and had us asking whether we were even ready for marriage.
RG4C: Is there any advice you have for singles desiring a relationship or marriage?
Kelechi: Seek to grow in your knowledge and love for God. Enjoy singlehood! Establish good friendships. Get involved in your local church. Travel and do things you love to do. And try not to give into the pressure from family and friends to rush into marriage when either you or your partner are not ready. And even if you lost your virginity in a previous relationship(s), with God’s help try as much as possible to remain abstinent until marriage.
RG4C: For soon to be married couples or newlyweds, what’s one piece of advice you would give them?
Kelechi: For soon-to-be married couples, get involved in premarital counseling through your church counseling ministry or through a well trusted and matured friend who is happy in their marriage. And for newlyweds, enjoy the process. The first year is the toughest because you will be going through growing pains…it gets better after that.
RG4C: What’s one challenge you have faced in marriage or while you were dating that has ultimately helped you grow into a better person?
Kelechi: One challenge I faced and I’m still growing is viewing our differences as a positive not negative. And then working together as a team to complement each other.
RG4C: What role has Christ played in your relationship?
Kelechi: Jesus Christ was at the center of my life as an unmarried woman and is still at the center of my life as a married woman. And I can thankfully say that He is also at the center of my husband’s life. Jesus Christ is the one who keeps us together in the good and bad times and also leads us in our growth and decision-making. We don’t always pray together as a couple should, but we are working on that! But in our individual quiet times, we do pray for each other just about everyday.
RG4C: Some people think when you get married you “lose your individuality”. What’s your take on this? How can women balance personal interests and hobbies while sharing a life with someone else?
Kelechi: I don’t believe that marriage makes you lose your individuality. You will remain who God has created you to be. The core of your character and personality remain the same. However, you will have to learn to adjust the way you do or see things from time to time in order to better relate with your spouse. From my personal experience, it is good for a woman to maintain the personal interests and hobbies she had before getting married, but cut down on the activities a bit in order to spend more time with your husband. I find that it helps to try and convince your husband to join you in some of those interests. He will also appreciate that you take interest in his hobbies as well.
RG4C: Yes! That is so true. You summed it up well; if you know who you are before marriage, that aspect about yourself should remain the same as you learn to make time for (and with) your spouse.
Thank you so much for your time, Kelechi. We look forward to having you again!
End of Interview
Written by Ja’La W.